Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
