i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
she peed on how many people?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
