Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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