What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
