I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
If I die, sorry about rent.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
