How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
