i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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