called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
