a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
