I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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