some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
