Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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