I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
