someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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