Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Boobs are out for the taking
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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