there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
