i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
