then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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