so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
