Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
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