I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
