Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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