quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
