Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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