I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
