Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
