Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
how drunk are you?
Several
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
