just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
