your thong is hanging out like whoa
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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