if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
