so explain again why im purple
no
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Such a big mess for such a small penis
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
