we have officially mastered the walk of shame
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
