remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
