FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Randomize
