i already hear my dad disowning me
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize