Kiss
Puke
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
