Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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