Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize