haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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