I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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