you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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