Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
