Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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