I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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