Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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