Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
