I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize