My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
