Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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