I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
