we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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