i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
