I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
