HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
