living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
