If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
