She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Boobs are out for the taking
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
