it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
