is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
