dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
