your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You don't make any sense
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