wrigley field is MILF paradise
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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