Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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