So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
