No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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